Wednesday, September 16, 2009

The Great Swimming Experiment

At the hotel I'm staying at, they've worked a sweet deal where the guests get to use the local Y for free. It is only a block away and has a pool. I've been contemplating adding swimming to the mix, but I have some issues with the whole public water activity thing.

However, I thought, what the hell, and went for it. I went out and bought a swim suit, some flip flops, and a beach towel.

As I went through swim, I began to realize why I have an issue with public water sports. Here's my list.

1) Feet. I have an issue with feet. Some people don't take care of their feet like they should. Maybe it always isn't their fault, but still, feet just bother me. This is worse at water parks as you have to share things like water tubes with other slimy-skinned people.

2)My Own Fat. Hey, I'm a fat guy. I don't actually look appealing without my shirt on. I try to take other people into account when I bare my chest. I feel bad for the lifeguard, who is forced to watch this round pasty guy thrashing in the water. She must be thinking, "Please don't drown. I don't want to have to drag your fat ass up from the bottom."

3) Man Junk. Come on guys! Cover it up! Why do the old fat men always prance around the room flapping in the breeze and then think it is a good idea to strike up a conversation with me. Hey buddy, you are wet, naked, fat and hairy. I really just want to dry off, get dressed and leave.

4) Water up the nose. This is the hardest part for me. I think I'll need to invest in a nose plug or something. I don't do the whole face in the water freestyle crawl thing, because of this. I need to learn how to do this, so I must try the nose plug.

So, in spite of all of this, I swam for 20 minutes. Swimming is pretty intense, especially when you do it for an extended period of time. I've never really swam for exercise, just recreation. The experience was tolerable and I will do it again (maybe even tomorrow!)

1 comment:

  1. Hey well done for swimming for 20 minutes when you have all that stuff going on in your head.

    As someone who's grown up in a place where everyone swims, and I've swum laps for a lot of my life as a fat person - don't worry about your body and "man junk" (ha ha ha). Noone is looking, believe me. When you're in the water, all you're thinking about is how many bloody laps you have to do and how to get over the mind-numbing boredness that comes with always swimming to the T at the end...

    Good job!